Der onner dawg wore so en grum-bucklicher, flat-ribbicher, long-oricher, ous-gadarter Yankee om barrick un hut de Polly der waik g'froght far nuch Schwinefordshtettle. Se hut eme ous-galaiked in Pennsylfawny Deitsch so goot os se hut kenna, derno hut are si gowl room gadraid un hut g'sawd, "Damn the Dutch." Are wore en Englisher un hut der Polly era Deitches net fershtonna, un des hut ene base gamaucht. Es wore goot g'west dos ich net dahame wore odder ich het amohl my nia shtiffel uff eme gabroveered.
De fact is, ich bin shtuls os ich Deitsch bin. Es mawk si os mere net gons so shmart sin os selly Yankees os tsu sawga nix tsu fressa hen os yusht grumbeera, shpeckshwarda, shwartz korn brote un fish. Awver for my dale, ich shtick tsu der goot oldt Deitsch Pennsylfawnish fashion. Ivverall woo mer onna gait con mer der unnershit sæna, eb de leit in der umgaigend English odder Deitsch schwetsa. Won mer in en nuchbershoft coomed woo's lond first-rate is, un grosse un shæna sheira, un goote pushtafense, un shæna fette uxa, un shmarte gile, un blendy hinkle uff em hofe os de oyer laiga, un shmarte wiver, un shæne maid un fette bublin, un woo de leit blendy fun beshta soch tsu essa hen -- so soch os we es besht rinds flaish, waitsa brote un fosnocht koocha, frisher brooter un lod-warick, un sower-growd, un woo de leit so monneerlich sin os se ame eilawda for mit essa won mer by enna awrooft; in gaigenda fun sellera awrt schwetza de leit tsu sawga oll nix os es goot oldt Pennsylfawny Deitsch.
Now, gæ amohl in en Englishe nuchbershoft un sæ wees dart ous-gooked. De bowera hen era bleek un reaper drows im wedder shtæ fun yohr tsu yohr, de fensa drunna, der waitsa blockich, es fee mawger, shtinkicher booter, ferbreede oyer, hash fun fowl flaish gamaucht, forna huy un hinna fuy. En shæ gakuched hem hen se aw ivver en larer mawga, de weipsleit grenklich un u-obba-ditlich wiesht un mawger. Un gæ amohl in de gross shtadt un roof aw on der jail un froke der shreef we feel deeb un onera rascal dart drin sin un are sawgt ordlich feel; don froke ene welle sort de majority hen, de Deitscha odder de Englisha, un ich bin goot derfore os are dere sawgt os de deeb un so karls tsu sawka oll English sin -- un os yusht don un won en Deitscher ni commed wæga bissly bodderation mit weipsleit.
Anyhow, ich shtick tsu'm goota oldta Deitscha wake, un geb en dihenker droom eb de farhungerda grudda-fresser mich un de Polly gleich odder net.